Targets of Opportunity: Lieutenant Gibbons

Voice: If Warren Gibbons knew he'd end up being dropped in a war zone, he wouldn't have dropped out of college. A diehard pacifist, who'd been put in charge of the men because of his advanced education, Gibbons believed that if he must be forced to fight battles, he would fight them his way. Gibbons: Private Woolworth, take these daisies and plant them into the barrels of our enemy's guns. Woolworth: Can I bring my hand grenade? Gibbons: No, it won't be that kind of mission. Go on. (Woolworth shuffles off to his doom as the eyes of the men follow him. Their frowns of disappointment accompany a short burst of enemy fire.) Private Lewis! Lewis: Sir! Gibbons: Strap on your guitar for an engagement with the enemy. Lewis: My guitar, sir? Gibbons: Yes, strap it on. (Confused, Lewis complies.) We need to subdue the enemy with some of that folk rock you play. Now get out there! (The private reluctantly exits, performing the chorus of a Cat Stevens hit, but the song is cut short by a gunshot.) Damn! That was my last private. Corporal Blake! Blake: Sir! Gibbons: I want you to concentrate on that enemy position and try to levitate it with your thought waves. Blake: It won't work without LSD, sir. Voice: Trying to raise the consciousness of an armed and violent enemy is the real battle for Lieutenant Gibbons.
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© 2007, 2014. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.